Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sometimes Believing Means Not Seeing
The cryptic title of this post refers to a lesson I just received--sometimes we see what we want to see and not what is really there.
In a recent post I wrote about the black cat who has adopted us. We were enchanted by this sweet little girl and named her "Violetta." I had been planning to take her to the vet to make sure she did not have an identity chip implanted, and to see if she was or was not pregnant. Yesterday I was leaving the house on the way to a meeting. A woman was standing in front of the house, with a baby in a stroller. Violetta was rubbing against her. She said to me, "I see you've adopted our cat." I was amazed as no one had reported this cat missing anywhere we checked. She then amazed me further by saying, "He ran away a while ago." "H-H-He?," I stammered. She said he was indeed a neutered male and he answers to the name of Lester. Lester??!! She said he has always been a "girly boy" and that she and her husband had often joked that they had a gay cat.
I struggled to wrap my mind around this new information. I asked if she was sure this was her cat. She said yes, she called his name and he came running. I could see that he seemed to know her. She said they knew he was hanging out here and had taken him home once (they live several blocks away.) "He ate and came back to your house." She said it is okay with her if he stays here. He isn't allowed to go in their house where there are several other cats and some racoons (? I didn't quite get that last part...) He's had all his shots so all he needs is a license. Wow.
I told her we could have an open adoption and she could come by and see him anytime. She agreed and we had a good laugh over the mistaken identity of the cat.
Did my feelings toward the cat change? At first. Why? It's the same cat. Now that I know he does seem like a girly boy instead of a girl. Why is this? Why should I care since he's fixed? Interesting questions to ponder. Why did we decide he was a she? No testicles for one, visible teats for another. Just as easily could have been an altered male which in fact, was the case. Guess this is a lesson to shatter stereotypes and accept what is.
We decided that Violetta could be his drag name. Just to humor me. he let me illustrate him in his finery.